Twirling the pack of Marlboros on the bar counter, I tap my finger on my lips, remembering the taste of her as she kissed me. How I feel stands dangerously close to how I felt when things first began to work with Yaeko. The world transformed then, and it seems to be happening again. Only this time, I have no escape plan.
I slide out a cigarette from the pack and roll it between my fingers. This time, if things do not go well, I can't pretend to be dead until the other really is. This time, if things go wrong, there would virtually be no way to avoid an eternal reminder of a shortcoming. But then, what is life without some risk and adventure? If this truly is love, I may have a partner for eternity; I being a God, and she my Goddess.
Placing the cigarette between my lips, I ask for a lighter and am tossed one by the barkeep. Claire may be the only one who will ever understand what it is to be me. I think I love her...
Scowling, I raise the lighter to the tip of the cigarette, only to smack it down hard on the counter. I pull out the cigarette and toss it to the ground, crushing it with my foot as I get up. Straightening my jacket, I leave the pack of Marlboros on the bar counter and don't bother to spare it another look.
All this because she had gotten a look when I had shown her the cigarettes. Feeling a dismal cross between bittersweet love and weakness, I turn up my collar and walk out of the bar.